Welcome to my diet diary! Below is a list of some of the diets I have tried during my obsession to lose weight. To some this may seem like a long path of eating disorders, but to me, it was a journey that I believe a lot of us go through, but no one talks about. Yes, I had an obsession with weight loss but it is a journey that has led me to a happy and healthier place.
My journey began at age 18 after gaining 30lbs my senior year of high school, losing it, but continuing on to gain and lose anywhere between 10-15lbs. year after year. My weight continuously changed as did the food I put in my mouth, the portions of food, as well as the timing at which I ate. I felt as though there was a code I had to crack that would allow me to eat, not eat, barely eat, whatever, in order to be thin. At the time, it didn’t seem like I was asking for much. I got down to my usual weight of 130-135lbs and no matter which diet I was on, couldn’t seem to get below. My goal was to weigh 120-125lbs and at 5’4 that is a reasonable, obtainable goal for most, but for me, it was like rocket science. No matter what I did, the scale would not budge and so I move on to the next diet that promised to drop weight off with little effort or exercise needed. I knew I would look good at that weight and I would feel good at that weight and so I began to obsess about the scale and carefully calculate my diet plan.
In the end, after years of punishing my body for crimes it did not commit, I now view food as a necessity, nourishment, fuel, and a powerful way to help heal the body. My obsession with losing weight and to become thin has now shifted to a yearning to become, strong, fit and more healthy version of myself.
I hope anyone reading will perhaps be able to relate, but take from it, that we should be so lucky to have such an abundance of clean, fresh food at our finger tips at all times, in all seasons.